I received a call from my "man friend" about his horse....literally...the living, breathing creature horse. Named Sandy. Mr Man Friend, being completely beside himself in regards to her not so great health. His baby was pregnant. Not doing so great, either. Sick, not eating, wouldn't stand up...normally usual for a horse about to give birth. But according to his calculations, she was in preterm labor. For those of you who know nothing about horses and their breeding rituals/pregnancy whoas, this is a bad thing. Foals rarely survive when they don't bake long enough in the oven, it's just not something horses are known for....moving on with my story.
I was slightly upset with this man friend and his dumb girl friend...well ex, now (don't judge me, I do what I do cause I wanna and cause I can), but the details aren't really important, just important for you to remember that I was mad at him. One evening I get a call from his mother, whom I needed to return a key to, that I mistakenly ended up in possession of. She was en route back to their ranch in the Visalia area, from Oregon, after purchasing a new filly. She cordially invited me to join her at her lovely home for an evening of movie watching and horse back riding the next morning. Who doesn't love horseback riding?! So I was more than down to partake in the activities. So, she picks me up at a very ridiculous 1 am or so and we're off. We arrive at her IMMACULATE and humble abode in the middle of nowhere's-ville and I take my place on the couch, making sure not to touch anything breakable, and keep my footing, so I didn't take a crazy spill and break some ridiculously over priced glass or porcelain item, most likely an antique passed on from thousands of generations...blah blah blah. Upon my sitting on the couch, I see Mr Meany sitting at the kitchen counter, covered in dirt from working with the horse all day, all sweaty looking delicious....I mean eating a delicious sandwich, in which I DID NOT cordially or formally acknowledge, of course. I was there to visit with his mom and return her property. She left me on the couch, and disappeared to change into something more lounge appropriate attire. Upon her return she begins to tell me that she's exhausted from her trip. That she can't possibly stay up and that we'll just have to do movie night again another time, and for the night I'll just have to hang out with stupid face in the stables. That's when it hit me. THIS WAS ALL A SET UP. He conned her into picking me up so I couldn't say no. Ugh, well I'll show him!
He had disappeared into some other part of the house, in which I had no intention of ever seeing, or learning, I was there merely for a business. So alone I sat. On the couch. In dead silence. With the cat, Driscoe (if I have never mentioned this before, cats and I don't get along. AT ALL. They are all out to murder me. Viciously.) The cat was giving me the stare of death, I know he was thinking of the thousands of ways he could slit my throat with those sharp claws, and I'd never even know what hit me. I could see it in his eyes. Driscoe and his deathly scary claws. A few minutes later I heard a piano playing, coming from somewhere down some hidden hallway somewhere in the crazy mansion style house (I'm over exaggeration or course, but who has a house like that!? No one I know) . Who the eff plays the piano at 2 am!? Whom, besides my mother, even know HOW to play the piano!? Was it coming from a radio somewhere? Then I hear "Sara, come here...". Ugh, it was Butt Face. So I had to choose my fate. Death via cat, or deal with the man I was mad at....I'll take the man for $500 Alex. So I ever so gracefully, and carefully, lifted my big ol butt off the couch, making sure not to make any sudden or ridiculous moved, in case Driscoe decided he was going to act quickly on his murder plans. I even leaned over and petted his head to let him know that I was leaving in peace, so he didn't attack me from behind. I'm still here, so my peace offering must have been accepted.
Off I meandered down this glorious hallway of "oh so happy" family photos. Two gorgeous young females posing with the butt head and his beautiful mother, I assumed them to be his sisters. Of course, beauty always runs family deep. Ugh, I was gonna be sick by the smiles and the good looks. The farther I got down the hall, the more I had to choke back the vomit. At the end of the hall a door, slightly ajar, in which the sounds of the piano where coming from. At the other end of the hall I could hear the TV coming from his moms bedroom. OF COURSE SHE WASN'T TIRED...total set up! Anywho, I push open the door, and walk into this room filled with this gorgeous black grand piano. A guitar, a violin, I think what to be a cello (I've never seen one in person, so only God knows), a few other instruments scattered around the room, in perfect place. What kind of person owns this type of stuff? Could this place be anymore perfect? Ugh, the vomit was rising in my throat again. Behind the piano, there he sat, all showered and in a clean white t shirt and lounge shorts. Okay, maybe I wasn't THAT mad at him anymore...just kinda mad at him. Who could be mad a man who can play the piano!? Who friggin' knew. Every time I see him he seems to get just that much more appealing to me...or not. So he plays a few songs for me, shows me his true talent, barf about to escape my mouth when we hear the horses making a commotion out in the stables.
He pulls me up with him. Puts on a pair of boots, and throws me one of his extra pairs. I'm not sure what world he lives in, but a size 14 mens boots are slightly hard to walk in for a girl who wear a size 10 and rarely even wears regular shoes!..and he was pretty much running. Whatever, I was pulling up the rear. By the time I caught up with him, he's in the stable and not really know what to do, I took a seat on a bail of hay in the corner, randomly texting people about how stupid I felt for being there. Whatever. The horse didn't look good. Not saying I know ANYTHING about ANYTHING when it comes to the creatures, cause I really don't, but she had labored breathing and you just tell by the look on her face that she wasn't a happy camper. She was attempted to lean on a post in the stable that wasn't really holding her weight, and it was causing the post to buckle. So Mr Guy I was still kinda mad at, had to get in there and change out a board or two, quickly and looking like he'd done this a million times, and with complete ease. Psh, whatever, I could do that anyday! Ha! I'm no stranger to a drill and some wood planks (I hope you call can hear the sarcasm in my voice). Realizing I didn't really know what to do, he took me to a small apartment looking thing about 100+ yards from the stables. Opened the door and turned on the lights to a cute, yet quaint, living space in which he referred to as his "man cave". Shut up! Equipped with everything a person could need to call a loft. Told me to make myself at home and he'd be back later.
At some point I fell asleep watching reruns of Law and Order on the couch, all curled up, freezing to death. He spent the night pretty much in the stable, coming in the check on me every so often. At one point he moved me to bed, where I slept like a ROCK! For those who are unaware, my sleeping patterns are ridiculous, and when I do sleep, I normally only sleep an hour or two. Next thing I know it's about 9 am and I'm brought my breakfast by Mr I'm Still Mad At, never had that before, so hell, I'll take breakfast in bed! Ha, I'll show you! We spend a few hours out with the horses and this time I have the courage to actually go up to the horse and say Hi! The horse took to me quick. Actually got up from laying down to greet me. It was kind of, I dunno, how do you...magical? She let me pet her, and brush her mane, even rested her head on my shoulder, nudging me with her nose a little. The sweetest creature I've ever met. As a girl, I had attempted horse camp, always have had a thing for horses, but have always still been slightly intimidated by them, but Sandy wasn't intimidating at all. She was beautiful, older, but still young at heart, you could tell by her playful attitude. Who knew that a horse could have so much personality. I was astonished!
A few hours passed, and I remembered I had to be back home for my guitar lesson...yeah, yeah, yeah...guitar lesson! As a teenage I thought it'd be some crazy rock star someday if I could just learn to play the guitar...so my parents got me one for Chirstmas one year. I never learned to play it. Now that I'm single, with a thousand hours of spare time on my hands every week, I needed something to distract me from the boredom. And I couldn't waste my money on a lesson, so I made Mean Face drive me back home to get my guitar and then take me to my lesson
...to be continued.
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