Smells like dirty laundry...

This evening I joined some good friends (whom I haven't seen in probably almost a year) in casual conversations, good laughs and delicious dinner. It felt great to sit and chit chat about this and that, where we our in lives these days, what we've missed, and where we're going. I ended up having a few beers, and I tend to turn into a "Chatty Cathy" when I'm under the influence...well that is, if I'm not out with the girls, in a bar some place, requiring the DJ to play a fast paced song, while I shake the booty my mama gave me like there is NO tomorrow. Knowing that,  yes, these friends can be very opinionated (at times), I tend to respect their opinions and know that I can trust them to see both sides of the story. In a way, we see kind of eye to eye on a lot of things, we've all lost parts of our "filters".

...to elaborate...

I've sorta given up on letting the world run me and my opinions. What's wrong with being your own person? What's wrong with having your own outlook on things? Can we all not just respect that someone sees the world a little differently than someone else? My outlook is pretty fucking twisted, most times, and a lot of things really don't phase me. Except when you question my character, and what I stand for. 

I was recently challenged by an acquaintance, who was once a friend, but since been demoted. She challenged my character by stating (in almost exact words) ...  "Sara, you have a lot of growing up to do...you've never been a mother, you don't know what it's like to have to raise a child. You don't know what real life is until you have your own children. You're selfish". What I don't understand is how having children qualifies you into being "grown up" or not. We all go through different things, and like they say, you're childhood defines who you become as an adult. Who's to say that what I dealt with in my younger years didn't help me come to the conclusion, that at this stage in my life, I don't need to bring children into an unstable environment. After seeing, dealing and now understanding what I went through as an adolescent, there's no way I would start a family right now. What happened to me is something for a totally different blog, on a totally different day, but can she (my challenger) really say that I am not a grown up. Because she has two children that makes her what? The friggin' Dalai Lama?

I've learned over my short 25 years that all this life is becoming, is one HUGE competition with everyone else. Who can make more money, who can struggle the hardest, who has had a worse life, who can pretend to be the happiest, the longest. I've grown tired of competing. I'd rather open my heart, say how I feel, be happy, live for me, accept the unfamiliar, do the unexpected, change my own outlook on life. So what if I piss someone off over something I feel strongly about? What gives them the right to put me down in the first place? Nothing. I don't ask for much from people, really, just friendship. I've learned you can't buy a husband...well, ok you CAN but how long did that last me?...you can't buy a friend, you can't coax someone into thinking you're someone that you aren't (they're going to learn the real you, eventually). So I'm giving up pleasing EVERYONE. Life is too short to be swarmed by killer bees, besides...I'm probably allergic to them anyway.

So, being that I haven't "grown up" enough for the rest of the world, I'm going to just challenge myself...no, I'm not going to go out and have a baby by some random stranger to compete...but I'm going to start grabbing life by the balls (technical term). Enjoy the time that I have here. Not let miserable people bring me down. I'm going to reevaluate my "selfishness" and demand excitement. I'll show you. Adventures of Radio may have begun a week, or so, ago now, but tonight I realized I've gotta keep this up! See everything I can until I meet the one person who makes me want either share it with them, or drop it all for them and settle down. BRING IT ON WORLD, I'M READY TO LIVE!



"I find hope in the darkest of days, and focus in the brightest. I do not judge the universe."      ----Dalai Lama

Don't let the bitches get you down.

Even if you had it all could you really know what it would mean to be happy? Practically vs want...want wins every time. Desire to have that one thing you know you will never aquire drives you insane.

Today as I sat at the airport, awaiting my solo adventure home,  I sat next to a man who struck up a conversation with me about his ever so lame love life. Who does that!? talks to a random stranger about his bad luck in the dating world? He told me about his "girlfriend". This girlfriend apparently is a "busy woman"...so he kept saying. Never has time to spend much time together, never has time to just sit and relax, she's always traveling, always working, always here, always there, doing this...doing that. With every word he told me, I began to form an opinion of this woman, whom I have obviously never met. My conclusion is - she's a snobby bitch who's OBVIOUSLY cheating on him. Halfway through the conversation he pulls out a picture to show me this ever so "beautiful" woman, to show me how amazingly "gorgeous" she is. Honestly? All I saw was a fake smile, fake tits and a size 00 waist. Nothing special. You're typical Barbie Doll.

Being we're strangers, I voiced my opinion truthfully. I didn't care what this dude thought of me, he needs to hear the truth from someone. I told him to get out. Run as fast as he could. Quit trying so hard. He was with a group of friends, and all they had to say about her was how "hot" she is. It's obvious she doesn't give a crap, otherwise she would make time, right? If she wanted him to be there, she'd ask him to be there. There is no point in him sitting around, waiting for her head to fall into his lap (yeah i friggin' said it), so why waste precious time? Maybe I over stepped my boundaries a little with that one...but how else do you get a point across to a male without just being straight and blunt? Whatever. He gave me a nodding, approving smile, shook my hand, said "It was really nice to meet you Sara. You seem like an amazing woman with her head on straight. You'll make a man happy some day." I never told him I was single. Is it written on my face? Apparently. Then his flight was called and off they went to their gate. He turned, waved and winked before boarding his plane. I don't even remember his name.

I wonder what he'll do...

I would really like to know the outcome of that one. Oh well. I can predict he'll stay with her. He seemed pretty well off in the financial department, so I'm sure when she gets tired of running around behind his back, she'll settle down, unwillingly. Spend all his money. Pretend she is happy, until someone new comes along. Then she'll leave him. Play the nice guy until his money runs dry or he just doesn't do it for her anymore. Divorce him. Make him pay an extreme amount of alimony. Then forget he ever existed. What did he do to deserve that? He fell for the fake bimbo who knows exactly what she's doing. Blinded by her beauty. And he allowed it. Oh well. His loss. Should'a seem it comin'.

There's a party at the bar, and the drunk girl came

The last few days have been nothing less than what I expected of Vegas. Leaving me utterly exhausted, I don't feel like I really did much....

I left you last...not exactly sure where...oh yeah! The "proposal" from the couple on the corner...irony? Or just my luck? Bah! Picking up where I left off. I spent the rest of that afternoon sitting at random places in the hotel. By choice, of course. I attempted walking around, but my injury from the ass hole in the hall way on the previous night, left my foot almost unbearable to walk on. So I sat at Starbucks, next to two Chinese females who had a very interesting conversation...about what? I'm not quite sure because I'm not fluent in any other language but English, but they made it sound quite interesting with all the "oohs", "aahhhhs" and laughing.

When I got tired of being that weird girl, sitting at Starbucks, I decided it was time for a drink. A REAL drink. So...I went on a mission to find a fun looking bar. I made it to the other end of the the hotel, to a "bar" shaped in a circle-ish with cool music and awesome lights. Sat myself right down and ordered my usual Vegas drink...cranberry and vodka. After being there about fifteen minutes, pretending to watch the World Series of Poker on the television above my head, all of the sudden the lights dimmed, the music got really loud and the entire staff jumped on the bar and a dance fest ensued. A female sitting across the way from me ended up getting a bar tender dancing right in front of her. I couldn't tell if she had already had a few too many, or if she was just really enjoying herself, but she started pulling out dollar bills and shouting as he pelvic thrusted the air in front of  her and sang along to "Shots, Shots, Shots". He seemed a little uncomfortable, because if she had been paying attention to him AT ALL she would have realized when she first sat down, she clearly wasn't his type. She had boobs. He was a bit gay. She ended up almost falling out of her chair with excitement. When the dance was over, so was he with her, and quit serving her...I really don't blame him.

From then on it was all a blur. I had one too many. Didn't talk to another soul until it was time for drunken me to attempt to find a bathroom before my bladder exploded in such a public place, making things extremely awkward. I began my descent back to my room. I never made it. No, no, no...I didn't pee my pants either...I promise. I made it about halfway through the casino when the wedding party FINALLY arrived! So we checked them in and I made it all the way up to their room. I think I should get a medal for longest drunken pee holding with no accidents. It was a risk. But I managed! We got the happy couple checked in, had some dinner, gambled a little (I actually ended up winning about $60! yay me!), and then retired early to rest up for the large events that were taking place the next day.

The next day went by in a massive blur. Woke up late, went to breakfast, which was horrible. Got ready, got walked in on by the maid...again...but this time i wasn't naked laying in bed (good thing the first time I was under the covers), got kicked out by the maid a half hour later. Lost another $20 to the slots. Got the bride dressed and ready, we almost late for the limo pick up. Made it to the venue. Clap, ooh, ahhh, yays, congratulations, " I now pronounce you husband and wife", more claps, back in the limo. Back to the MGM. Dinner buffet. Then bed. It seemed like so much more than just that. By the time the "back to the room" party came I felt like I had ran a marathon. All in all, it was beautiful. Congratulations Holly and Jake. May you live a long, wonderful life together!

How does this awkward moment keep happening to me...?

After forcing myself out of bed early this afternoon (yes, that's right...I said this afternoon), I decided to brave the likes of the rest of the world. So...I went for a stroll. I strolled through the shops downstairs, watched the lion feeding, then attempted to find a cheap place to buy a pair of pants....since, apparently, I absent mindedly left them in the dryer, back at my apartment...IN FRESNO! So I went to hail a cab..then I learned there are no cheap places to buy pants close to the strip and it was going to cost me about $60 in just cab fair. So, accepting my defeat I gave up and decided it was time to eat.

So I walked over to Hooters...my home away from home around these parts. WINGS BABY! Along the way I ran into a nice couple, who I just happened to meet on the corner while waiting for the "walk" sign to go green. We chatted for a few minutes while we waited...really about nothing on particular, began walking again...I turned to walk up the sidewalk, to the hotel, when the husband (presumably) asked me if I had any plans for this evening. Not sure where he was going with this I responded "tentatively...depending on my group". His response? "well my lady and I are looking to have a good time while we are here...if you know what of mean..." Then he winks. I practically choked on my laughter. I think he understood my gesture of rejection to his proposal of me being the cream in their oreo.

Let's see how many more times that will happen this week....

Let there be Blog...

...and there was.

Alone...in a Las Vegas hotel, at an extremely ridiculous early hour, I was given the idea of starting a blog to entertain my not so many facebook followers...so here I am...pretending to know what I'm doing and how to even start this.

My adventures begin now. Alone...again....in Vegas. Who goes to Vegas alone you ask? A recently separated, young female, who would rather travel and stay here, alone, than let her best friend from high school take the eternal plunge into the worst decision of her young adult life without me by her side...well, worst decision so far, by getting married. The lucky man?  her "high school sweetheart". Not saying she's chosen the wrong man for the job or anything, cause I'm not...but everyone has to live through it in order to understand exactly what I'm talking about here.

So here I am. I've retreated back to my safe and secure king size bed, in my overly priced hotel "suite", after being defeated a few times already since I've been here. Attempting to relax, when I arrived yesterday evening, I walked down to the food court, ordered me a nice yummy slice of pizza and a beer, plopped my butt in a large booth, kicked my feet up, and began to people watch to pass some time. There was a group of about 10 young females sitting to my right, chit chatting at an overly exaggerated high pitch volume about a boy named Johny and his ridiculous decision to go to Penn State. Blah! the table in front of me occupied by two older hispanic ladies discussing the weather and why some unnamed female would even think twice about sleeping with "what's his face". To my left? Extreme awkwardness.

Minding my own business, and having scanned the booths around me prior to sitting down, I noticed an older, maybe Indian (with a dot...not a feather) watching me sit and unattractively shove the greasy pizza in my pie hole. After a few minutes he gets up, walks around, stops at the front of my table and mumble something inaudible to me. Being unable to hear his attempt at casual banter...due to my extreme efforts of not only trying to avoid him, but overly disgusting attempt at chewing my extremely greasy slice of cheesy pizza dough...I politely wiped my mouth and said "huh"?  His response was more inaudible words of mumble. At this point the awkwardness began to set in...with my multiple attempts at understand this gibberish and his multiple attempts at god knows what...I looked down and pretended my phone was ringing. Grabbed my bag and pretty much ran to the other side of the food court. Stood in line, got some ice cream, then ended up back in my room, extremely exhausted after having been awake for 30+ hours.

Woke up extremely hungry this morning...after sacrificing about half my slice if pizza to Mush Mouth last night...so I ordered room service. Never paid so much for a cheeseburger, but damn it was worth it. Not worth the treck I made, down the hall, to gery a soda to wash it all down with. Half way to the vending machines I was pummeled by an older gentleman on a mission to break my foot (which I can say, he might have actually succeeded by the pain I'm in at the moment).

but now...I am back, in the room,  curled up under this amazing down comforter, a.c. cranked down to below antarctic degrees, hiding from the world. All are welcome to join...